Colour it green

what about the social side?

This, unfortunately, will be the phrase you hear most often, once you tell someone you are (or considering) home education. I'll be honest, I thought it too.

The best answer I have heard so far was something along the lines of "well, yes, its a real worry isn't it? not natural! all those kids, mixing with thirty-plus kids all born in exactly the same year, setting them up to believe they should only be friends with people exactly the same age. And the bullying, cliques etc - oh yes, I'm very worried about the social side of state school.. very worried....."

It is a concern though, will your child be lonely. I think mine is, but he was when in school too, only then he was lonely and surrounded by kids. In my son's case, he is on the autistic spectrum and finds interacting with other children really hard. So much so that it was getting in the way of any learning. On top of that, his learning difficulties set him apart. He was at a mainstream school. If we could have got him a place at a school for children with moderate learning difficulties (unlikely as the big move is towards inclusion) he is likely to have found things much worse, with the other children, as he depends on routine and expected behavior, which would be unlikely from the other kids with special needs. It is a mistake to imagine there will be a natural empathy.

Many children on the autistic spectrum end up being home educated, as the 'social side' is a trauma to them, and throwing them in with other kids is comparable with throwing a person with a snake phobia into a pit of snakes. No, they don't toughen up, they melt down.

Many kids have a great time at school, and it's successful, but some, even if they don't have special needs, will still face issues with bullying etc. It can be very traumatic. And this is the socialisation we want? I don't think so. It strikes me as odd that parents think that it will be school and the school system that will form their child's personality, that will make their child into a well rounded adult, with good social skills. In reality, the children spend far more time not being at school, and so the out of school environment, i.e. home life, will have a far greater influence. - I should hope so too!

But what social skills do children learn at school? It is a unique environment - and only sets them up for coping with.. well.. school. You only have to consider village life a few centuries ago, kids would have mixed with people of all ages, would have grown up looking out for the youngsters, learning from their elders.

It is not actually difficult to aid your child to have a social life, whilst home educating. There are home ed groups all over, locally we have the choice of swimming, natural history, photography, crafts as well as just get together groups. And these groups will have mixed ages. We don't take much of this up, due to my son's issues, but it's there if a subject of interest pops up. He really enjoyed the making bird boxes day, at one group. For the rest of 'socialisation' we depend on normal every day interactions. We visit his great grandmother, his cousins, his grandparents. He has occasional sleepovers and time away from us. He has come to folk festivals and socialises with friends and family (of all ages) And as part of daily independent life; he interacts with the librarian (book track, a system where he has to talk about books he has read) the bank staff (he runs his own account) and various shop keepers. I encourage him to manage the sort of interactions he will have to make for the rest of his life - reporting at the health centre reception, making a hair appointment, passing the time of day with neighbours, and so on.

The 'social skills' a person learns at school are only really good for that particular environment, and only a small proportion of the average person's life..

so what about the social side? It's great, now that school is out of the way, we have so many opportunities.

and finally, I saved this from May 2006, chief inspector of Ofsted, Maurice Smith said

"We need to reinforce the message that school is a 'place of work' preparing youngsters for the world of work, where a work ethic is required - not a house of fun to meet youngsters' social needs "

so much for thinking school is the place to socialise.!

read comments on this article from my blog